Stefan reports: (revised 5/28/13)

 Monday, May 20, 2013 9:30 am

This morning, May 20th, I arrived at Nazareth House at around 9:30.  Fr. Bernie was asleep in a recliner in the Care Unit's activity center.  Steve, a lively volunteer, was reading to the residents present, then playing the piano and getting them to sing.  I pulled up a chair beside Fr. Bernie and was simply present for him.  When he opened his eyes, he gave me a subtle smile and said it was good to see me.  While the entertainment continued, we exchanged a few more comments back and forth.  He would close his eyes, but would still be listening, then sleep, then wake again.

Laughing Women. Photo by B. Brennan

A deacon (?) entered the room and celebrated mass. After that Steve gave exercise instruction to whoever was awake, followed by an activity involving throwing a balloon around the room.  Fr. Bernie could not perform any of these tasks, but he looked on part of the time.

Lunch followed.  Dining at the table with Fr. Bernie and I was a priest who was once stationed at St. Michael’s and Church of the Visitacion.  He was a bit talkative, and Fr. Bernie being rather quiet, listened attentively.  I mentioned a few news items to Fr. Bernie, and he seemed to understand the basics of what was being said.  He said: “Your visit was perfectly timed.  Perfect timing.”  The only confusion he expressed was over the telling of the time on the wall clock, and wondering how he was going to stand up to go from his wheel chair to his bed without splitting his swollen foot open.  The time he could not figure out.  He admired my watch, which is one he gave me, and asked to borrow it for a while (would it make him even more apprehensive about time?  But who can know for sure…).  He became restless and began to get up when an assistant came over to inform him a nurse would be by and to not stand up.  “See, see that?”  He said, “It’s like I’m in a prison here.”  I assured him that they are looking out for him, and that this is the best place he can be right now – and he agreed the food is better in the Care center than the other side of the house!  He enjoyed the rice pudding, and though he was nervous about what would take place after lunch, he did not get even half as anxious as he had during previous visits.

I followed him and a nurse to his room and told him I’d return in a little while, as he was preparing for a nap.  At about 3:30 I returned.  Mrs. Lynch helped me remember where his room was, and asked that I wake him, as he needed to be up.  He was polite, but kept his eyes shut, as he repeated, “I just want to sleep for now” a few times.  I asked him what he meant earlier about my visit being “perfect timing” and he said he didn’t remember saying that.  I sat by his bedside and read quietly, gently nudging him every 15 minutes to see if he was ready to rise.  “Please, let me sleep.”  And so at 4:30 I said goodbye and I’d be back another day.  He thanked me for the visit.

  +    +    +    +    +

This day was a sharp contrast to my visit when he was at the Kindred Smith Ranch facility.   I didn’t call ahead because he rarely answers the phone when I do, and if I did visit, he’d forget which day I was supposed to have been there.  So that day he was in pain and he did not want me around.  I wore a cowboy hat and spoke with a twang, hoping to spark out of him a touch of the humor he used to display (remember?  He could ramble on like a regular Robin Williams!), but my gimmick only irritated him.  “Can’t you come tomorrow, or the next day?”  I could not.  “Why don’t you call me next time?”  There ended that session.

Father Bernie, don’t worry!  Jesus has got your back, your arms and your legs.  The angels are working hard to make sure people here tend to your needs.  Worry not, dear friend!